6 Types of Nigerians To Avoid in Relationships
Relationships are undoubtedly beautiful but the truth is that there are certain people you should avoid being in relationships with if you value your emotional and mental health.
Just because we think they are the ideal people for us should not be enough. These days, it is easier to tell a person just by certain things that they do, either on social media or in real life.
Of course, the “don’t judge a book by its cover” quote might come to play when you consider this topic but the truth remains and it is best to judge “THIS BOOK” by its cover if you fancy a toxic-free relationship. So, without further ado, below are 5 types of people you should avoid in a relationship:
If you value and desire a very healthy relationship, it is important that you avoid people who are sold out to masculism and feminism. In Nigeria today, there is a gender war that is often launched in unpleasant situations and the takes are often appalling and downright unbelievable. Nothing is wrong with being a feminist or advocating the right of women but the sad truth about Nigeria’s brand of feminism is that it isn’t truly about advocating for women’s rights.
In a video that circulated in April 2021, Nigerian feminist, author and novelist, Ngozi Chimamanda-Adichie confirmed that most “young Nigerian feminists” are “mean” and “nasty”. The writer mentioned she often tells them not to “use feminism to justify their wickedness”. And rightly so, a trip to Twitter where the brightest minds of Nigerians gather on any social media platform reveals that the faces of feminism in Nigeria are actually misandrists who can no longer hide their hatred for men.
For those practicing wicked feminism. The boss herself, Chimamanda Adichie just broke some tables. Love to see it 💀 pic.twitter.com/obE2h3Swj3
— DemoLa (@Demo__UK) April 9, 2021
Is Chimamanda right? Absolutely!
In the same vein, there are masculinists, mostly made of the men folks and go by a different name on the same social media platform and serve none other than the same purpose of defending the male species.
Beyond defending their pals for whatever reasons, there is the whole patriarchy allegiance which oftentimes doesn’t make them regard or respect women the way they should. Men who choose to be different from them are either referred to as “simps” or some other unsavoury adjectives.
If you have spent a sizeable amount of time on Twitter, you must have realized that the gender wars are nothing but downright hatred masked in a cause just like Chimamanda stated.
If you genuinely love love and desire a healthy relationship, the last thing you would want is to see the opposite sex as an enemy to be destroyed or have a partner who sees “your kind” as an enemy. Living as a human is all there should be to it and nothing more. Avoid genderists if you truly desire a healthy, toxic-free relationship.
2. Big Brother Naija Stans
Big Brother Naija stans are perhaps the most energetic, toxic and unbelievable people you will ever come across on cyberspace. This set of people work round-the-clock like bees to hurl insults, troll and launch vitriols towards celebrities their “faves” do not either like or have issues with. You are more likely to see them spend time on social media bullying people with dissenting opinions or people who doesn’t share their line of thought.
Although Big Brother Naija is an annual reality TV show, the concept of “reality TV” often eludes these die-hard fans who spend every day of their lives attacking, body-shaming, trolling and warding off “haters” from their favourite housemates. The amount of hate this class of people exhibit has taken followership and stans to a whole new level.
The once-upon-a-time individuals who become celebrities after each season of the show, more often than not, use these stans, or foot soldiers to do their bidding, particularly when they have issues against fellow housemates. These stans are often given a “special name” similar to the names or alter ego of their favourite housemates and are known to all and sundry as bags of trouble that are best avoided if you do not fancy depression.
If you are crushing on an individual and suddenly realize they are Big Brother Naija stans, tendencies are that your sweet crush is a toxic social media warrior with super ability to make someone commit suicide. Bolt!
3. Zee World/K-drama/Spanish-Mexican Soap Addicts
Zee World is a channel on DStv, a cable/satellite service owned by MultiChoice that exclusively feature English-dubbed Bollywood movies/soaps. To most, it is the best channel on the satellite service largely because of the many series that run on the channel on a daily basis. While there is nothing wrong with the channel itself, there have been reports of addiction, mostly in females, as with South Korean dramas and Latin American soaps with the “love” thematic preoccupation and motif running through them. And because they are mostly emotional movies with deep unrealistic love scenes and plots, some addicted fans often forget that they are just make-believe and often want a replica of those love stories thereby expecting what is unattainable in their relationships.
The effect of the addiction is greater in some that a lady once said her boyfriend must have the physique of xxxxxxx character. Already, “Lee Min-ho” has nothing than 5,000 Nigerian ladies crushing over him and some daydream on when to be with him.
But should this really be enough to avoid someone? Well, it depends. But if one fantasizes about their love life and equate it with those projected in the soaps, there is no denying that either party might spend a decent amount of time trying to impress a South Korean actor’s imaginary girlfriend. Know when to draw the line!
4. Social Media Junkies
Social media in itself isn’t all bad but as the above point, not knowing where to draw the line is the point of disaster. Social media, like movies, are often make-believe. Behind the facade of lush green backgrounds, posh hotel rooms, expensive mouth-watering dishes and a seemingly “perfect couple” with a fairytale-like wedding littering Instagram lies reality which is a far cry from what is projected.
And in a bid to measure up since they are addicted, the tendency to “fake it” or pressure someone’s child to provide the luxury they envy on social media almost always come into play. The social media fake life is never-ending and those who play by its rules often lose themselves and everything that ought to matter to them because they need to measure up and give people things to drool over.
Cases of stealing, borrowing and renting luxurious materials just to appeal to netizens make the news almost on a daily basis. So, it is best you find out whether or not the flawless lady or “edible bobo” you are drooling over is a social media junkie or not. Else, you might end up lending/funding their ephemeral lifestyle and they might leave you in a worse financial state than you were before meeting them. It is not worth it.
5. Traditional Men
As a lady, one of the most difficult situations you can ever find yourself in a relationship is to be with a man with a traditional mindset. Nothing is wrong with traditional men, in fact, other than the fact that they uphold the ideals of the patriarchal society. You are more likely to hear them say gizzards in poultry birds are meant for males. If you manage to escape that, you are likely to hear them say women should have no opinion or voice where men are gathered and that their place is in the kitchen. As unbelievable and ridiculous as these sound, traditional men abound in Nigeria. We shall talk about them extensively in another post.
6. Slay Queens
Ironically, slay queens enjoy some of the best relationships you can ever imagine but it is often either chaotic or toxic. They are girls who live for the moment and nothing more. It is fair to say they share some similarities with social media junkies but the major difference is that this set of “queens” is their thirst for obscene wealth beyond their own reach and far from what their parents ever heard. In most cases, they often prey on rich, older men and “Yahoo boys” to fund their expensive, fake lifestyle.